thought ... for a while... wish others thought the same

heya , its all about means what i wanna feel and what i don't ... the world seems to be progressing , no doubt but has anyone ever thought whats the actually happening in return for this progress.. i also know that i've a meagre majority of people who think like me.. means ofcourse i'm not against but the thing is that why , why the hell bad things are happening too ?
means the most basic things are being ignored just because they are useless or they don't return you any profit... can't only blame the authorities since the common man is also involved..i really wish all think about it and do something.. because if we'd do than that would be ofcourse for the majority population for our country for our motherland ! but no , people prefer easy tasks and individual profit , that's all... if they are gonna think for the majority then acc to them how are they gonna make it.. sheh  !
really , i am not saying to dedicate or sacrifice the whole 100 % but its just a question of 1-5 % ... can't we all afford that much when its a call for the nation , our land , everything that counts in it.... just think guys,,, just think..hope that we'd ever reach a point... :)
thats what i feel sometimes...
nothing personal just as a whole  we can rock...

messy life !

Really i sometimes feel why the hell i am always surrounded by so many problems... but now i understand the real fact , its just all because of me. My weakeness i always try that no one is hurt because of me but then what happens actually? Its just me who is left so helpless and unnoticed sometimes... really i am selfish and mean and thank god slowly and gradually i'm succesful in presenting that tanjul to the world ! means really sometimes its better being rude with people you want to be happy and successful. Literally i  think i messed up my life on my own...slowly i think my love towards humanity would turn into hatred for the ones i don't know or i don't wanna be around me ! really a fishy and shitty situation  .. ah !
sometimes i really feel so agitated towards the conditions.... now i really am afraid of losing only few selected people in my life - maa (mother) , tanu (sister ) , mishika & sarim (best friends forever )... don't wanna lose..i totally depend on my tendencies and vibrations in life thats it ....

really i sometimes think and feel how complicated is the human nature ...
means its a matter of thought that how we humans react so differently to every different problem.. some trust new people at first go and some take years to gain trust and faith...how diplomatic everything seems to be...'
I've simply decided i'll be doing whatever i'll feel is right and try making things right
baki its the persons wish how he / she wants to take that suggestions and everything i'll provide with..i neither have the right nor the guts to change anything written by god either in my life or in anyones life..so its better to move on ! ....

i wish my readers read it and think about it...specially focus the 2nd paragraph ...


@tanjul !

moments :)

Well , its most of time my i lie on my bed all alone thinking about my past , present and the upcoming future. its me and my silence.. really sometimes its so necessary , this silence , this peace , this loneliness but if all this accompanies for long it becomes a pain on my nerve. It would for any other normal human being or any creature with emotions , needs . who doesn't need a company in his or her life . its just a need , a desire sometimes !
Today i had my best friend sarim with me who accompanied me and my silence. I made a pizza first time serving any friend and luckily it was damn crunchy n yummy. really i have observed whenever i'm with my best friend cum sister / sisso "mishika" (most times) or sarim , i kinda forget every other painful things going on in my life. That phase totally seems to be disappeared !
Ah ! me and sarim first talked , had pizza coke and few conversations then we switched on the laptop and played few tracks . we both sat silently doing nothing though thousands of thoughts were coming and going in our minds but we hardly spoke anything. I really enjoyed this silence this kind of emptiness or say a partially lonely moment. really it seems to be a human nature that whenever we are with our friends , all the worst things happening finds a "comma" on their path. can't say !

Don't know but some positive energy i gained after my best friends visit.. again i find myself in a lil past . like before i had a speed in my fingers while typing as now , my mind kept running finding more and more new thoughts , any kind . again i seem to have that power which was kinda lost within me . this word power , i find it to be my strength sometimes. i don't know what it is but really wanna thank sarim for all this is happening... really though i've got less but friends like "mishika, sarim , tanisha , omkar " and few more are real treasures of my book of life...thanks to you all for providing me such moments which i can think of and feel these moments anytime , anywhere !

tanjul <3

where's my sunrise...

well its sometimes so difficult to live more..everything seems to be exhausting you , everything is out of mind.. and people like me lose control over ourselves,,today something similar happened which should never have happened .. really this guilt is affecting me so badly.. i don't understand right or wrong when i'm angry means nothing comes to my mind..i go mad means really things have changed with me . my hatred for a person who seems to be the most important  in my life is increasing day by day..life's simply hell. But hope this phase of my life ends over soon ! thought the sun rises everyday but it hardly rises in the cycle of my life. The sunshine that brightens up my world is missing , everywhere what i see is just a darkeness and end up with a failure but i hope , i feel i'd come over all the obstacles soon ! may god bless me ! :(

journey ,,, i love'em

tomorrow morning i'm heading to my mother's home "nanima's place".. people there are eagerly waiting for me and to add the excitement i'm going w'out any of my family members...all are busy with their works...
i'll be accompanied by an uncle working under my mama(mom's brother ) ..but still i'll be alone :) cool na...will be returning soon...till then miss you (my blog) ! love !

FEELINGS....sometimes so desperate to know !

Sometimes i feel , whats the importance of my existence on this earth ! I frequently try finding answers to some questions like " where do i come from ? where i have to end up ? "
Really , who knows the actual cause to all this ! the exact one !?
I know its the silly me in me who's thinking all this but still , we live in a democracy and are free to think anything in any respect ! Its really something between God and and every human being on this earth !
brrr...really these pondering moments just build up confusion and castles of question but at the same time make me familiar of the fact which .. ummm .. i'm not even sure about their existence ! But from insight i really wanna know the cause . I wish i could !
I know i can never take that Lord's place ..means i can't even dream of it. But i can surely do great work , like he did !
We all know , the one's we consider God were also humans like us but with some super natural powers !  They worked for the welfare and justice of random people who really needed .
They(God and Goddesses ) were provided with some other superpower . Now , has anyone ever thought whose that providing the superpowers,,????
We simply  praise but i bet , no one have ever thought of knowing the truth ? whose actually running this whole world !
Hope some or the other day i'll get my answers . Till then i expect my readers to think and ponder about the fact i presented . This is not specifically for a particular religion , its as a whole and we exist as 1 !
Tanjul