For YOU :)

Well well well... again I'd start with a bit of mello , because without it sometimes I feel incomplete . Kidding huh !
I have never been good at expressing me feelings in person , really . This sometimes works as my strength but most of the times its an unwanted weakness too.
Now , its quite wondering that who is this  "YOU"...
Its one of my friends and My first friends in my carreer life in mumbai "Manas"...
I have rarely mentioned about him , that never meant that he never existed or never captured any importance in my life .

Yeah , we became friends on 17 june 2012 and after that we hardly talked or met .
It was after 1 yr when I shifted near his place and we met almost daily which still continues...
Really , after I got this friend ... frankly speaking , I never bothered about making new friends or running behind the existing ones , because lately I realised that it was hardly worth.
I don't mean that it was because Manas regularly visited me so we had been in touch regularly , but you know there is always a connection . He was my friend , he is my friend and will be my friend forever.
I know my nature is , 'was' to be precise ...like first being close to someone and then running away from that person giving silly excuses... but things do change ,  I have fealt it so not to worry Manas , this wierd and stupid crazy friend of yous is never ever gonna excape from your life..

It is really strange  , friends say " whenever you need me , just remember my name and i'll be there !" No doubt this is very true, but not always and not with everyone. This is the reason I stopped believing on all these sayings but truly Manas , in a way or other proved both the parties wrong (silly friends and me )...He really made me realise that one should never run after people or run after making new friends because hardly few are gonna stay forever . Its just how to choose those 'few' .

Many things were coming up on my mind but don't know why , everything disappeared.

I don't know and ever bother where do you or me belong...But this friendship is strong enough to make us belong to a world where truth lies...

Thanks for being there always and your encouragement and support...
Don't still feeling as if I missed hell lot of things but I am happy finally I managed to express something with the magic of words :)

Be happy always ... YOU rock !!!

:)

Thoughtss..

Hi,
Finally i'm back here after a long time . Was out for vacations .
After I am back , I don't really understand whats actually happening and going on in my mind but seriously this is something , my institute friends aren't gonna like it . Till date I was something , like yeah u can say that I was real me but now as situation changes I understand we too need to be with the flow , but with that we never have to forget that we all have our own individuality.
I know this might be a regular teenage problem but frankly it really makes me more and more crazier each time I give it a thought.

I am reading this novel by Nicholas Spark " The Last Song" . Don't worry I'm not going to talk about any romantic stuff or something but there was a situation when the girl's father thinks and understands his daughter and decisions as this is a peculiar age . The only difference with me in real life is this that I don't have 'that' father's heart who supports his daughter and understands him .
My dad is alive , but ....
I might be sounding rude.


I am witnessing this change of being bold , not caring about what people actually think about me , expect from me . I am not scared to accept the truth, whatever it is (good or bad). I need to be stron in a situation like this where I dont have my father to say " go on child , if any mishap takes place , I'm there . Don't worry ! ".
Really I need that but there is one more truth that I can never forgive him , I can never love him and i can never hate anyone like I do to him.
I know this very strage like the way I'm talking about my father but now I really don't expect anything to be back on track. He hardly bother . For him if  I'm a headache , wow ...
I , no doubt , am independent with my thoughts but just one thing has changed me and made me dependent , its'money'.
I really need to work hard and prove people , I wasn't a waste ever.
No one has the right to judge me , my character , my individuality but along with the world , my own dad has judged me so very well . I will shut his mouth.
Earlier I expected , he'd make everything alright , work on his mistakes , but I was wrong . And now , I don't even wanna give a damn to it . GO TO HELL ! I don't care.
I am no more scared to accept this publicly because if anyone wanna befriend me then this isn't gonna make any difference.

I know I have hurt many people in last 1 yr , but today I am sorry .
I really am !
Not because I need them today but just because my heart wants me to apologise . I started living in my own fantasy world but it did break because I faced the truth. These things look good in movies only. They aren't meant for a story in real life .
I did hurt the 2 most important people of my life , my un biological sister and someone special : mishika and abhijeet ... both are srivastavs..


In last 1 yr, I got good friends forum and abhijeet (in mumbai) ... and my work ... my second love :)

I really cannot reverse the time but all I can do it to hope and keep trying.

I really have no answers to their why ? But I wanna say , I Love You (mishika and abhijeet ).