Not Just Another Birthday

A story of a guy that left me stunned with a magical feeling.....Here it is :

"Dated : 30 December 2013

Well, each year my birthday comes and goes like any other day..
There are a set of people who wish me , I thank them and the day is over...
My birthday is over!!!
But this year ... my birthday actually started a day before.
It started with a lot of confusion .....where to meet? how to meet? .. at the end just wanted to meet that someone very special..

We ended up at different places .. oh no !...more confusions !!!

.... And the birthday started the very moment I saw Tansen, my 'copper tellurium' crossing the road walking up to me.

I remember last seeing my watch at around 1pm when I was waiting for her...and next time I saw my watch it was 6:45 pm when I was boarding the local....
I never knew how time flew by.
I probably never had spoken to someone as much as I did yesterday with her.
It was simply beautiful, and music to my ears to hear Tansen speak. Indeed my birthday started a day before ...
Those strolls on the beach...with the chappals in her hand and her hair flying around...
I had not seen anyone pretty, she was beautiful!!!
It was all magical.
I was actually scared whether I was making a fool outta myself when I was with Tansen ...but then she made me feel very comfortable too.

Oh!!! Her smile is a killer...

And when I received the gift before departing .. the one that I wasn't supposed to open till 12...
Even now I can't recollect when was the last time I received a gift..
Not sure if I received any at all.. Or I received one to forget about it conveniently...
But there was something different about this gift ... Something special...
Was it the aroma or the feel..??
I was told the gift is delicate and so it is to be handled with loads of care...
At that moment even if she had given me a stone, I would have handled it carefully and protected it with my life...

The last time I saw Tansen was when she was about to board the bus.. She just turned around one last time before walking away..
At that moment, with the surprise gift in my hand... I walked away with a big smile on my face!!!
I was all super charged and had goosebumps all over my body...
wanted to go back to her..
but then I thought, 'what's the fun in going back when sometimes the pain of missing someone is more sweeter than the joy of having that person'.

My birthday actually started a day before and ended a day before ...

Today is just another customary day... when the same set of people will call me up and wish me like every other year ...
But yesterday, that one day with Tansen ... will remain stuck in my mind as sweet memories for years together ...
This was my birthday...
This was my gift.... "


-Anonymous

GeeENious diamond ltd.

Really , this company is the best company ever i could have .
company partners : Harshita Khemka , Bharat Verma , Forum Damani , Nikhil Jain and last but not the least Tanjul Sarkar ( me....gigglesss).

It all started just a month back , like planning and plotting and its today together we stand .

I am , as always I say , bad at explaining things , convey my emotions , express my feelings in words ,etc...So again I'm back here with the strongest machine which does all the above stated work for me , writing..(not as an author guys... I'm not a scholar)

Last few  days were like whuushhhh , came and went but the memories I collected in this quick pleasant storm are for LIFETIME.
I never thought I'd come uptil here but hatsoff to You people.

I know , all the readers are a bit confused , like what the hell I am talking about ....but don't worry , I'm gonna explain.

This Harshita and Bharat were short term course student at my institute for diamond grading... oopss I forgot one of the most important member too  whose gonna handle the marketing dept. of the company , Mr Nikhil (same course) .. and my soulsister  Forum , all know...!!!
We all met for lunch and from here our friendship start , a journey of 3 people from different cities and 2 mumbaikars .
Harshita from bangalore (b'lore) , Bharat from amritsar and me ... kanpur.

I know I am using quite heavy terms but its nothing like that.
Its just we loved spending time with each other . Whenever I was with them I forgot all  the existing "shittssss" in my life...haha.
Just , I learnt back again how can I be myself.... you know ... same old crazy gal tag !!! I love that tag... I wanna be that and all credit goes to Nikhil and Harshita and Forum... I know I couldnt tell you guys about it before as I thought you'll think I'm crazy but because you know it now , lemme tell you ... I got this from you ... I was feeling snatched away kind for the past few months ... but today I stand as ME.. accept it or not ... I'm gonna be the same ... I know the different and how it feels now !


Laughter moments , lunch times , getting late , pandya sir laughing , bharat cracking the silliest jokes in his typical punjabi accent , I laughing like a crazzyyyy funny bull , forum catching me from falling down , harshitas spinning head and best "cz , feather and black bindi in a packet, go home make diamond " .... wow.... moments for lifetime.. !!!

I don't really know when are we meeting next , but for me , this relation isnt seasonal.
I am scared to make things such close , but when a relation without any expectation comes up ... things become fantabulous...


Love you guys ... I really don't know whether you understood or not ...what I wanted to say but from the depth of my soul....we are GENIAASSSS forever....

Thanks...

This is for my soul sister ...
I think it might be very precise expressing my feelings here... but , I am really very happy that I have got that opportunity to be such an important part of your life . I am really wonderstruck that you chose me to present that surprise "Knapsack of hope"...
 Its one of the most beautiful and unexpected surprises of my life...
Thanks alot ...
Love you tonsss.....
Tanjul

No one can beat this...

Hi ....
I really don't know whether any one even did this or not , but i think that many might have done it because girls are girls..

I really went for nailpaint shopping with my soul sister "forum damani"..it's like ...tanjul really... our first nailpaint nailpaint shopping that too a proper one took place at colorbar

Really awesome experience....
love u soul sister...
can't even forget this day...

SOUL SISTER... HOW AND WHY IS A QUESTION ....

Hi ...  again a long time back I am here .

Today was day of fun only i suppose...Basically we were called by our design faculty to help our senior designer students backstage for the show IIJW thats going to held on Monday. But , but , but ....me and me other 2 friends : sharvari and forum (soulsister) were busy with our photoshoot .. Haha !!!
Actually , only 6 people were allowed in the Grand salon where rehearsals were going on along with the dresses and models...

One thing I really saw , that made my mind clear... No doubt models are super sexy alongwith their superrrr rude behaviour...
chuck it anyhow...

After we were given a legal permit by our faculty , we left the premises ... And then it was fun time with soul sister going shopping...

We were badly hungry no doubt ...

Any how , that was really fun searching for a bus to our destination with forum .... who spends nearly double money going via autorickshaw... its recession time...for us... :P

Shopping was so quick.... i really can't even imagine.... no doubt everything happens once in a lifetime.. hats off to forum damani...


It was a day of my first experiment of trying Italian Cuisine at "Ci-gusto" with soul sister... I know it sounds a bit funny , but never got such opportunity...


It was my second best Friendship Day with Forum Damani after 2011 which was spent with Mishika Srivastav , my sisso.

It was one of the greatest days i'll always love to cherish... thanks foruuuuuuuu...

For YOU :)

Well well well... again I'd start with a bit of mello , because without it sometimes I feel incomplete . Kidding huh !
I have never been good at expressing me feelings in person , really . This sometimes works as my strength but most of the times its an unwanted weakness too.
Now , its quite wondering that who is this  "YOU"...
Its one of my friends and My first friends in my carreer life in mumbai "Manas"...
I have rarely mentioned about him , that never meant that he never existed or never captured any importance in my life .

Yeah , we became friends on 17 june 2012 and after that we hardly talked or met .
It was after 1 yr when I shifted near his place and we met almost daily which still continues...
Really , after I got this friend ... frankly speaking , I never bothered about making new friends or running behind the existing ones , because lately I realised that it was hardly worth.
I don't mean that it was because Manas regularly visited me so we had been in touch regularly , but you know there is always a connection . He was my friend , he is my friend and will be my friend forever.
I know my nature is , 'was' to be precise ...like first being close to someone and then running away from that person giving silly excuses... but things do change ,  I have fealt it so not to worry Manas , this wierd and stupid crazy friend of yous is never ever gonna excape from your life..

It is really strange  , friends say " whenever you need me , just remember my name and i'll be there !" No doubt this is very true, but not always and not with everyone. This is the reason I stopped believing on all these sayings but truly Manas , in a way or other proved both the parties wrong (silly friends and me )...He really made me realise that one should never run after people or run after making new friends because hardly few are gonna stay forever . Its just how to choose those 'few' .

Many things were coming up on my mind but don't know why , everything disappeared.

I don't know and ever bother where do you or me belong...But this friendship is strong enough to make us belong to a world where truth lies...

Thanks for being there always and your encouragement and support...
Don't still feeling as if I missed hell lot of things but I am happy finally I managed to express something with the magic of words :)

Be happy always ... YOU rock !!!

:)

Thoughtss..

Hi,
Finally i'm back here after a long time . Was out for vacations .
After I am back , I don't really understand whats actually happening and going on in my mind but seriously this is something , my institute friends aren't gonna like it . Till date I was something , like yeah u can say that I was real me but now as situation changes I understand we too need to be with the flow , but with that we never have to forget that we all have our own individuality.
I know this might be a regular teenage problem but frankly it really makes me more and more crazier each time I give it a thought.

I am reading this novel by Nicholas Spark " The Last Song" . Don't worry I'm not going to talk about any romantic stuff or something but there was a situation when the girl's father thinks and understands his daughter and decisions as this is a peculiar age . The only difference with me in real life is this that I don't have 'that' father's heart who supports his daughter and understands him .
My dad is alive , but ....
I might be sounding rude.


I am witnessing this change of being bold , not caring about what people actually think about me , expect from me . I am not scared to accept the truth, whatever it is (good or bad). I need to be stron in a situation like this where I dont have my father to say " go on child , if any mishap takes place , I'm there . Don't worry ! ".
Really I need that but there is one more truth that I can never forgive him , I can never love him and i can never hate anyone like I do to him.
I know this very strage like the way I'm talking about my father but now I really don't expect anything to be back on track. He hardly bother . For him if  I'm a headache , wow ...
I , no doubt , am independent with my thoughts but just one thing has changed me and made me dependent , its'money'.
I really need to work hard and prove people , I wasn't a waste ever.
No one has the right to judge me , my character , my individuality but along with the world , my own dad has judged me so very well . I will shut his mouth.
Earlier I expected , he'd make everything alright , work on his mistakes , but I was wrong . And now , I don't even wanna give a damn to it . GO TO HELL ! I don't care.
I am no more scared to accept this publicly because if anyone wanna befriend me then this isn't gonna make any difference.

I know I have hurt many people in last 1 yr , but today I am sorry .
I really am !
Not because I need them today but just because my heart wants me to apologise . I started living in my own fantasy world but it did break because I faced the truth. These things look good in movies only. They aren't meant for a story in real life .
I did hurt the 2 most important people of my life , my un biological sister and someone special : mishika and abhijeet ... both are srivastavs..


In last 1 yr, I got good friends forum and abhijeet (in mumbai) ... and my work ... my second love :)

I really cannot reverse the time but all I can do it to hope and keep trying.

I really have no answers to their why ? But I wanna say , I Love You (mishika and abhijeet ).

me .... again

I don't know how many people out there are really reading me , thinking about the situation with their own way of handling them . I really don't know in past few years what have I gained or may be lost ....Actually i might be knowing but I really don't have a coun'on them . WOW !!! Isn't it ?

I have always thought that this life is so got damn easy , means I really wondered why the great scholars and  philosophers mentioned such things but now I realise that no doubt , they deserve to be what they were and deserve the respect which people do offer them . I know I'm simply confusing the whole screwed up situation but still this is what actually going on in my mind.


Lot many people came and went away as I have mentioned it before , this is kind of a ritual of life . People come and go making the incidences happening or happened a chapter of a great book called life .
Similar situation exists here , which I'm talking about !

Today evening I was thinking about this more than friend of mine 'Abhijeet' . You know what is the best part in him ? He always tried to make me feel low . But lemme correct here , he encouraged me and threw out some catchy hurting words which I feel make me low. But today I was wondering that , although I felt low for may be a day or two , but at the end , I improved myself and tried not to make that mistake again !
There may be such friends in everyone's life I suppose!

Its today I realised that few people who made a chapter in my book mentioned that I was selfish , egoistic , umm... stubborn and many more words from the english dictionary, were right. I always thought and said that why the hell they prove me like the ones in those words but today is the day I realise that yeah , I always wanted to see the world and treated them with the perspective I wanted to ignoring all the if's and but's . I expected that this whole world should walk the way and direction I want it to move.
But this is not right . If I always wanted to be a good human being or may be a good person as the great philosophers and so , atleast I should have respected them by trying to know what they wanted !
I always made my choices , no doubt the situations always helped me in making the bad and wrong choices . argh !!!
I am a simple normal girl but then , I'm accepting that I always pretended to be great .
I pretended or may be that was within because I never tried to correct myself as I always thought I was right ....

Today , I have made the greatest mistake of my life and I'm sure thats for final !
Actually it's not the greatest but yeah it's one of those which ultimately screwed me up badly !


Now onwards , I'm sure I'm nomore going to make any such decisions and if in anycase I'm going to make one then that will be the perfect one.
I have experimented with my life alot , now I cannot afford to do it anymore to myself. I really don't even have the option to reduce this mental pressure of an unsuccessful decision on my mind by blaming some or the other person because it was MY decision .
I won't say its worthless , because ultimately I have learnt the most important lesson of my life. I am really not made for these experiments . I was the one who decided few things before stepping in this city where I live now , but then I only ruined up the whole thing !  Wow .. !!!
There was a movie " Band Baja Baraat " in which the lead actoress also does the same thing . I'm just giving an example , don't wanna connect with the situation there because it was a movie .

Now its time,  finally I have to put a fullstop to all this stupidity and start afresh !
Its been one whole year I have been  here and no doubt I have been through hell lot many ditches ! But now , they are meant to be over because they themselves are saying 'enough' !
huh ... !!!
I don't wanna play anymore  ! Because I cannot run anymore from me . I need to accept few thing and just appear totally new tanjul sarkar !
Already , I have suffered hell lot because of my ....
But now I have got to do something for my sister , for my mother  and then settle and have a family of my own ... Yeah I want to  .. I suppose every girl wants that !


There are hell lot many words from the dictionary I want to use to express myself but I think its enough for now ... I really wanna thank my sister "tanisha"..
I hardly think I've ever mentioned her name , its kind of a relationship we both share. Fights and love but at the end we both stand for each other ... really love her alot and for this change that is gonna get in me I'd like to thank Tanisha and Abhijeet and Maa and yaa , mishika too.


There's one more person I wanna thank who got me a different version of mine , but then I really don't wanna take his name . It hardly matters to him . He is very practical n least emotional.. huh ! God bless him !

Feeling far relieved ...
thanks antas

After a very long time ...

Hi to all .
These days due to various reasons i'm a bit infrequent here but yeah , it always keeps running on my mind "ANTAS"... because its a part of me only !

Yesterday , we made up a plan to go for this superhit movie "Iron Man 3" which was just awesome in simple words . Oops , forgot to describe we . We , I meant for me and my very good old friend of this city Manas . Literally , had great company of him .
There was this part when all the suits of Iron Man came out to the battle field , I was totally out of my mind yelling whoooooo n clapping ... whoa .
Sometimes when I think of him, our superhero , I wish I were a supergirl type stuff having those high tech inventions n blah blah blah !!!! day  dreams !!!!

Aftr this movie was over , I was to return home for it was late but to add my anxieties , manas took me to the back road near my resident ... and that was the another moment of the day . Knowing this place where i recently shifted ,  enjoying my ride .... that cool breeze...!

                                                    After a long time  ... I lived myself !!!

That very shine of a smile ...

Its been a very long time i have interacted with people all round this globe.
There have been hell lot of changes in the past few months which made me learn a few very important lessons of my most important exam of "LIFE"...

It was last Sunday when i was on a road trip in our fav car wagonR going to town within mumbai .
me and other 4 friends of mine - sharvari , nikita , karan and amogh ; were laughing out loud and were cracking the worlds most silliest and worst pj's . As usual we stopped when traffic light was flashing red and there came a vendor selling those sheets which prevented sunlight falling in the car . Frankly i cannot recollect what it is called but yeah , i disripted the use of it.
We were in mid of that traffic thinking what shall we do ? we should buy it or not !???? And then we decided we'll buy 2 for rs.100 and the vendor agreed .


It was then when i noticed his eyes and kept looking at it for continuously 3-4 minutes when i realised that how important it was for him to sell those things. How happy he became when he sold 2 of them to us.
His eyes were glittering by the reflection of sunlight , it means his eyes were a little watery !
How tuff it is for him to run in between the vehicle while they stop when traffic light flashes red !
How rarely people do buy those things ? Suddenly 100's of questions captured my mind with hardly any answers to it and i kind of tried hunting those answers by cutely asking my friends , why is there so much of differences !
WHY?
In this race of poor and rich , emotions are slowly and gradually losing its grab on people.
I  hope my future generation thinks a little