I don't know how many people out there are really reading me , thinking about the situation with their own way of handling them . I really don't know in past few years what have I gained or may be lost ....Actually i might be knowing but I really don't have a coun'on them . WOW !!! Isn't it ?
I have always thought that this life is so got damn easy , means I really wondered why the great scholars and philosophers mentioned such things but now I realise that no doubt , they deserve to be what they were and deserve the respect which people do offer them . I know I'm simply confusing the whole screwed up situation but still this is what actually going on in my mind.
Lot many people came and went away as I have mentioned it before , this is kind of a ritual of life . People come and go making the incidences happening or happened a chapter of a great book called life .
Similar situation exists here , which I'm talking about !
Today evening I was thinking about this more than friend of mine 'Abhijeet' . You know what is the best part in him ? He always tried to make me feel low . But lemme correct here , he encouraged me and threw out some catchy hurting words which I feel make me low. But today I was wondering that , although I felt low for may be a day or two , but at the end , I improved myself and tried not to make that mistake again !
There may be such friends in everyone's life I suppose!
Its today I realised that few people who made a chapter in my book mentioned that I was selfish , egoistic , umm... stubborn and many more words from the english dictionary, were right. I always thought and said that why the hell they prove me like the ones in those words but today is the day I realise that yeah , I always wanted to see the world and treated them with the perspective I wanted to ignoring all the if's and but's . I expected that this whole world should walk the way and direction I want it to move.
But this is not right . If I always wanted to be a good human being or may be a good person as the great philosophers and so , atleast I should have respected them by trying to know what they wanted !
I always made my choices , no doubt the situations always helped me in making the bad and wrong choices . argh !!!
I am a simple normal girl but then , I'm accepting that I always pretended to be great .
I pretended or may be that was within because I never tried to correct myself as I always thought I was right ....
Today , I have made the greatest mistake of my life and I'm sure thats for final !
Actually it's not the greatest but yeah it's one of those which ultimately screwed me up badly !
Now onwards , I'm sure I'm nomore going to make any such decisions and if in anycase I'm going to make one then that will be the perfect one.
I have experimented with my life alot , now I cannot afford to do it anymore to myself. I really don't even have the option to reduce this mental pressure of an unsuccessful decision on my mind by blaming some or the other person because it was MY decision .
I won't say its worthless , because ultimately I have learnt the most important lesson of my life. I am really not made for these experiments . I was the one who decided few things before stepping in this city where I live now , but then I only ruined up the whole thing ! Wow .. !!!
There was a movie " Band Baja Baraat " in which the lead actoress also does the same thing . I'm just giving an example , don't wanna connect with the situation there because it was a movie .
Now its time, finally I have to put a fullstop to all this stupidity and start afresh !
Its been one whole year I have been here and no doubt I have been through hell lot many ditches ! But now , they are meant to be over because they themselves are saying 'enough' !
huh ... !!!
I don't wanna play anymore ! Because I cannot run anymore from me . I need to accept few thing and just appear totally new tanjul sarkar !
Already , I have suffered hell lot because of my ....
But now I have got to do something for my sister , for my mother and then settle and have a family of my own ... Yeah I want to .. I suppose every girl wants that !
There are hell lot many words from the dictionary I want to use to express myself but I think its enough for now ... I really wanna thank my sister "tanisha"..
I hardly think I've ever mentioned her name , its kind of a relationship we both share. Fights and love but at the end we both stand for each other ... really love her alot and for this change that is gonna get in me I'd like to thank Tanisha and Abhijeet and Maa and yaa , mishika too.
There's one more person I wanna thank who got me a different version of mine , but then I really don't wanna take his name . It hardly matters to him . He is very practical n least emotional.. huh ! God bless him !
Feeling far relieved ...
thanks antas
I have always thought that this life is so got damn easy , means I really wondered why the great scholars and philosophers mentioned such things but now I realise that no doubt , they deserve to be what they were and deserve the respect which people do offer them . I know I'm simply confusing the whole screwed up situation but still this is what actually going on in my mind.
Lot many people came and went away as I have mentioned it before , this is kind of a ritual of life . People come and go making the incidences happening or happened a chapter of a great book called life .
Similar situation exists here , which I'm talking about !
Today evening I was thinking about this more than friend of mine 'Abhijeet' . You know what is the best part in him ? He always tried to make me feel low . But lemme correct here , he encouraged me and threw out some catchy hurting words which I feel make me low. But today I was wondering that , although I felt low for may be a day or two , but at the end , I improved myself and tried not to make that mistake again !
There may be such friends in everyone's life I suppose!
Its today I realised that few people who made a chapter in my book mentioned that I was selfish , egoistic , umm... stubborn and many more words from the english dictionary, were right. I always thought and said that why the hell they prove me like the ones in those words but today is the day I realise that yeah , I always wanted to see the world and treated them with the perspective I wanted to ignoring all the if's and but's . I expected that this whole world should walk the way and direction I want it to move.
But this is not right . If I always wanted to be a good human being or may be a good person as the great philosophers and so , atleast I should have respected them by trying to know what they wanted !
I always made my choices , no doubt the situations always helped me in making the bad and wrong choices . argh !!!
I am a simple normal girl but then , I'm accepting that I always pretended to be great .
I pretended or may be that was within because I never tried to correct myself as I always thought I was right ....
Today , I have made the greatest mistake of my life and I'm sure thats for final !
Actually it's not the greatest but yeah it's one of those which ultimately screwed me up badly !
Now onwards , I'm sure I'm nomore going to make any such decisions and if in anycase I'm going to make one then that will be the perfect one.
I have experimented with my life alot , now I cannot afford to do it anymore to myself. I really don't even have the option to reduce this mental pressure of an unsuccessful decision on my mind by blaming some or the other person because it was MY decision .
I won't say its worthless , because ultimately I have learnt the most important lesson of my life. I am really not made for these experiments . I was the one who decided few things before stepping in this city where I live now , but then I only ruined up the whole thing ! Wow .. !!!
There was a movie " Band Baja Baraat " in which the lead actoress also does the same thing . I'm just giving an example , don't wanna connect with the situation there because it was a movie .
Now its time, finally I have to put a fullstop to all this stupidity and start afresh !
Its been one whole year I have been here and no doubt I have been through hell lot many ditches ! But now , they are meant to be over because they themselves are saying 'enough' !
huh ... !!!
I don't wanna play anymore ! Because I cannot run anymore from me . I need to accept few thing and just appear totally new tanjul sarkar !
Already , I have suffered hell lot because of my ....
But now I have got to do something for my sister , for my mother and then settle and have a family of my own ... Yeah I want to .. I suppose every girl wants that !
There are hell lot many words from the dictionary I want to use to express myself but I think its enough for now ... I really wanna thank my sister "tanisha"..
I hardly think I've ever mentioned her name , its kind of a relationship we both share. Fights and love but at the end we both stand for each other ... really love her alot and for this change that is gonna get in me I'd like to thank Tanisha and Abhijeet and Maa and yaa , mishika too.
There's one more person I wanna thank who got me a different version of mine , but then I really don't wanna take his name . It hardly matters to him . He is very practical n least emotional.. huh ! God bless him !
Feeling far relieved ...
thanks antas
