Hi,
Finally i'm back here after a long time . Was out for vacations .
After I am back , I don't really understand whats actually happening and going on in my mind but seriously this is something , my institute friends aren't gonna like it . Till date I was something , like yeah u can say that I was real me but now as situation changes I understand we too need to be with the flow , but with that we never have to forget that we all have our own individuality.
I know this might be a regular teenage problem but frankly it really makes me more and more crazier each time I give it a thought.
I am reading this novel by Nicholas Spark " The Last Song" . Don't worry I'm not going to talk about any romantic stuff or something but there was a situation when the girl's father thinks and understands his daughter and decisions as this is a peculiar age . The only difference with me in real life is this that I don't have 'that' father's heart who supports his daughter and understands him .
My dad is alive , but ....
I might be sounding rude.
I am witnessing this change of being bold , not caring about what people actually think about me , expect from me . I am not scared to accept the truth, whatever it is (good or bad). I need to be stron in a situation like this where I dont have my father to say " go on child , if any mishap takes place , I'm there . Don't worry ! ".
Really I need that but there is one more truth that I can never forgive him , I can never love him and i can never hate anyone like I do to him.
I know this very strage like the way I'm talking about my father but now I really don't expect anything to be back on track. He hardly bother . For him if I'm a headache , wow ...
I , no doubt , am independent with my thoughts but just one thing has changed me and made me dependent , its'money'.
I really need to work hard and prove people , I wasn't a waste ever.
No one has the right to judge me , my character , my individuality but along with the world , my own dad has judged me so very well . I will shut his mouth.
Earlier I expected , he'd make everything alright , work on his mistakes , but I was wrong . And now , I don't even wanna give a damn to it . GO TO HELL ! I don't care.
I am no more scared to accept this publicly because if anyone wanna befriend me then this isn't gonna make any difference.
I know I have hurt many people in last 1 yr , but today I am sorry .
I really am !
Not because I need them today but just because my heart wants me to apologise . I started living in my own fantasy world but it did break because I faced the truth. These things look good in movies only. They aren't meant for a story in real life .
I did hurt the 2 most important people of my life , my un biological sister and someone special : mishika and abhijeet ... both are srivastavs..
In last 1 yr, I got good friends forum and abhijeet (in mumbai) ... and my work ... my second love :)
I really cannot reverse the time but all I can do it to hope and keep trying.
I really have no answers to their why ? But I wanna say , I Love You (mishika and abhijeet ).
Finally i'm back here after a long time . Was out for vacations .
After I am back , I don't really understand whats actually happening and going on in my mind but seriously this is something , my institute friends aren't gonna like it . Till date I was something , like yeah u can say that I was real me but now as situation changes I understand we too need to be with the flow , but with that we never have to forget that we all have our own individuality.
I know this might be a regular teenage problem but frankly it really makes me more and more crazier each time I give it a thought.
I am reading this novel by Nicholas Spark " The Last Song" . Don't worry I'm not going to talk about any romantic stuff or something but there was a situation when the girl's father thinks and understands his daughter and decisions as this is a peculiar age . The only difference with me in real life is this that I don't have 'that' father's heart who supports his daughter and understands him .
My dad is alive , but ....
I might be sounding rude.
I am witnessing this change of being bold , not caring about what people actually think about me , expect from me . I am not scared to accept the truth, whatever it is (good or bad). I need to be stron in a situation like this where I dont have my father to say " go on child , if any mishap takes place , I'm there . Don't worry ! ".
Really I need that but there is one more truth that I can never forgive him , I can never love him and i can never hate anyone like I do to him.
I know this very strage like the way I'm talking about my father but now I really don't expect anything to be back on track. He hardly bother . For him if I'm a headache , wow ...
I , no doubt , am independent with my thoughts but just one thing has changed me and made me dependent , its'money'.
I really need to work hard and prove people , I wasn't a waste ever.
No one has the right to judge me , my character , my individuality but along with the world , my own dad has judged me so very well . I will shut his mouth.
Earlier I expected , he'd make everything alright , work on his mistakes , but I was wrong . And now , I don't even wanna give a damn to it . GO TO HELL ! I don't care.
I am no more scared to accept this publicly because if anyone wanna befriend me then this isn't gonna make any difference.
I know I have hurt many people in last 1 yr , but today I am sorry .
I really am !
Not because I need them today but just because my heart wants me to apologise . I started living in my own fantasy world but it did break because I faced the truth. These things look good in movies only. They aren't meant for a story in real life .
I did hurt the 2 most important people of my life , my un biological sister and someone special : mishika and abhijeet ... both are srivastavs..
In last 1 yr, I got good friends forum and abhijeet (in mumbai) ... and my work ... my second love :)
I really cannot reverse the time but all I can do it to hope and keep trying.
I really have no answers to their why ? But I wanna say , I Love You (mishika and abhijeet ).
No comments:
Post a Comment