my first glamouring evening....

hi guys ... frankly i never thought that this magical spell would make me so much into it.... yesterday , 6july'12 , our freshers party would make me feel so delighted... it was also a way through which we batchmates - me , rashi , ayush , isha , dhawal , dhwanil , mehul , hansa , aparna & vikram .. got an opportunity to know each other... really our other batch mates missed it.. :) thanks to the guys mentioned above to make me feel so good that i , for a minute forgot that i am missing mishika.. but still i miss her loads.. just wish she was there with me last evening.. ..thanks thanks thanks... to all who made this evening possible..

hi again

hi to all my readers.. well slowly slowly i'm adjusting myself in this new atmosphere among new people , new situations , this college life which will again take a sharp turn someday ! but still my past , my school , my friends .. i wish all were back,,, huh really miss them alot..

Well last whole week we did sketching and this week we started all new with manufacturing lessons . The vernier callipers , a tool to measure accurately , i couldnt learnt to use when i was in class 11th n 12th but now m well trained :).. thank god i'm a science student ! hehe ! really m kinda enjoying as i'm studing my desire my dreams ! wish me luck..cya soon :)

Finally college...

hey guyss... well i'm finally here with my new college life stories.. well i've no collection of stories but yeah few instances...my first friend or say my college mate is rashi . she's really a nice n descent girl . Actually she's senior to me but still we belong to same batch so all are called friends.. umm... yesterday i was badly missing school and my hometown kanpur but then rashi really helped me.. even my design professor said that our emotions matter alot while designing so we need to b focussed and cheerful while sketching designing and every other such work.. i also got aquainted with a bengali guy ganesh . he too is a nice guy .. frankly speaking all are good but i like rashi , ganesh , nikita , dhwanil , abhijeet ..baki sab bhi also mast dhinchak...but then suddenly a feeling urged in me k again that kind of happiness is gathering me but still how can i b so sure that these people will accept me the way mishika n all my kanpur friends did ? will this happiness stay forever with me.. ah and that silence again gathered me..well today we had sketching sessions .. i never imagined that i , the girl who always ran away with this name of sketching will be doing the same..may god bless me and the other students too :) goodnight ;)

an evening full of laughter ! :)

heya..writing after quite a long time... days started very worst..means , can't tell it wasn't even worth breathing.. then slowly.. things anyhow managed on its own and then day was kinda balanced...we had to go out for my d had an meeting with one of my uncles ! his kid and nephews too accompanied him.. then we 5 ..like me my sister jitumoni isha n manas...we had a lots of sudden masti / fun ! we had a huge day.. entered the joy ride.. though for a moment i forgot all the miseries existing in my life..but still it was great...helped me to balance myself.. manas also won a toy for me..soft-toy..i loved it.. me kya it was common for all but it was given to me .. he is my senior..
wish to have such joyrides for ever n ever... :'( :) moments of laughter ! had a lot of fun...really missed my sisso (mysh ) love her loads ! :) well will write soon..tata...

monsoons in mumbai...

Hi all my readers.. finally its monsoon season . first shower , call it a blessing only ! what other feel i don't know then it gives me new hopes to live , to survive , find new oppotunities , find new ways , become stronger , feel special , ah wierd person and full of wierd feelings.... may god bless all !

brrr... tension free now !

hey ! i'm back.. see na i was so much tensed about my intermediate results ! but luckily i'm passed with 1st division :) i scored 74 % , though not as expected but still i'm happy because i was damn horrified for physics but then i scored such that i passed ! :) hahaha...really i didn't want to get back to my hometown , kanpur !

Nw i've to look ahead for my future life n my career ! may god bless me :)

getting goosebumps....

Hey friends.. m back.. m ... u can say so excited plus anxious plus frightened as my 12th class(intermediate) results are going to come by 11 am today ! don't know what i'm gonna score.. what others are gonna score.. what will happen and what will not ... uff.. wish me luck my readers ! :/

an awesome evening...

Day was quite a bore but then this is what i've decided.. means i am the only one to choose a lonely life..but then in the evening one of my dads friend visited us . He is an actor , really an awesome guy and one of dads junior who was going to accompany us to a bengali theatre ! earlier i as just so very silent but then he started to talk..he was too a great guy... really we reached ravindra natya mandir in mumbai..it was great . earlier i wasn't enough excited but then as soon as the play was about to start i felt that excitement within me as for the first time i was going to watch a play that too of my mother language "bangla" !
it was awesome.. kind of an unsuccessful love story , really a nice one . though in between i got kinda bore but i really enjoyed .. here really such opportunities are great ! was feeling a bit closer to my culture and religion. the play troop was basically from bangladesh ! all the audience were bongs only.. different people... i loved watching...


its high time and me tired too.. cya soon,,, feeling sleepy lolzzz.. !

thought ... for a while... wish others thought the same

heya , its all about means what i wanna feel and what i don't ... the world seems to be progressing , no doubt but has anyone ever thought whats the actually happening in return for this progress.. i also know that i've a meagre majority of people who think like me.. means ofcourse i'm not against but the thing is that why , why the hell bad things are happening too ?
means the most basic things are being ignored just because they are useless or they don't return you any profit... can't only blame the authorities since the common man is also involved..i really wish all think about it and do something.. because if we'd do than that would be ofcourse for the majority population for our country for our motherland ! but no , people prefer easy tasks and individual profit , that's all... if they are gonna think for the majority then acc to them how are they gonna make it.. sheh  !
really , i am not saying to dedicate or sacrifice the whole 100 % but its just a question of 1-5 % ... can't we all afford that much when its a call for the nation , our land , everything that counts in it.... just think guys,,, just think..hope that we'd ever reach a point... :)
thats what i feel sometimes...
nothing personal just as a whole  we can rock...

messy life !

Really i sometimes feel why the hell i am always surrounded by so many problems... but now i understand the real fact , its just all because of me. My weakeness i always try that no one is hurt because of me but then what happens actually? Its just me who is left so helpless and unnoticed sometimes... really i am selfish and mean and thank god slowly and gradually i'm succesful in presenting that tanjul to the world ! means really sometimes its better being rude with people you want to be happy and successful. Literally i  think i messed up my life on my own...slowly i think my love towards humanity would turn into hatred for the ones i don't know or i don't wanna be around me ! really a fishy and shitty situation  .. ah !
sometimes i really feel so agitated towards the conditions.... now i really am afraid of losing only few selected people in my life - maa (mother) , tanu (sister ) , mishika & sarim (best friends forever )... don't wanna lose..i totally depend on my tendencies and vibrations in life thats it ....

really i sometimes think and feel how complicated is the human nature ...
means its a matter of thought that how we humans react so differently to every different problem.. some trust new people at first go and some take years to gain trust and faith...how diplomatic everything seems to be...'
I've simply decided i'll be doing whatever i'll feel is right and try making things right
baki its the persons wish how he / she wants to take that suggestions and everything i'll provide with..i neither have the right nor the guts to change anything written by god either in my life or in anyones life..so its better to move on ! ....

i wish my readers read it and think about it...specially focus the 2nd paragraph ...


@tanjul !

moments :)

Well , its most of time my i lie on my bed all alone thinking about my past , present and the upcoming future. its me and my silence.. really sometimes its so necessary , this silence , this peace , this loneliness but if all this accompanies for long it becomes a pain on my nerve. It would for any other normal human being or any creature with emotions , needs . who doesn't need a company in his or her life . its just a need , a desire sometimes !
Today i had my best friend sarim with me who accompanied me and my silence. I made a pizza first time serving any friend and luckily it was damn crunchy n yummy. really i have observed whenever i'm with my best friend cum sister / sisso "mishika" (most times) or sarim , i kinda forget every other painful things going on in my life. That phase totally seems to be disappeared !
Ah ! me and sarim first talked , had pizza coke and few conversations then we switched on the laptop and played few tracks . we both sat silently doing nothing though thousands of thoughts were coming and going in our minds but we hardly spoke anything. I really enjoyed this silence this kind of emptiness or say a partially lonely moment. really it seems to be a human nature that whenever we are with our friends , all the worst things happening finds a "comma" on their path. can't say !

Don't know but some positive energy i gained after my best friends visit.. again i find myself in a lil past . like before i had a speed in my fingers while typing as now , my mind kept running finding more and more new thoughts , any kind . again i seem to have that power which was kinda lost within me . this word power , i find it to be my strength sometimes. i don't know what it is but really wanna thank sarim for all this is happening... really though i've got less but friends like "mishika, sarim , tanisha , omkar " and few more are real treasures of my book of life...thanks to you all for providing me such moments which i can think of and feel these moments anytime , anywhere !

tanjul <3

where's my sunrise...

well its sometimes so difficult to live more..everything seems to be exhausting you , everything is out of mind.. and people like me lose control over ourselves,,today something similar happened which should never have happened .. really this guilt is affecting me so badly.. i don't understand right or wrong when i'm angry means nothing comes to my mind..i go mad means really things have changed with me . my hatred for a person who seems to be the most important  in my life is increasing day by day..life's simply hell. But hope this phase of my life ends over soon ! thought the sun rises everyday but it hardly rises in the cycle of my life. The sunshine that brightens up my world is missing , everywhere what i see is just a darkeness and end up with a failure but i hope , i feel i'd come over all the obstacles soon ! may god bless me ! :(

journey ,,, i love'em

tomorrow morning i'm heading to my mother's home "nanima's place".. people there are eagerly waiting for me and to add the excitement i'm going w'out any of my family members...all are busy with their works...
i'll be accompanied by an uncle working under my mama(mom's brother ) ..but still i'll be alone :) cool na...will be returning soon...till then miss you (my blog) ! love !

FEELINGS....sometimes so desperate to know !

Sometimes i feel , whats the importance of my existence on this earth ! I frequently try finding answers to some questions like " where do i come from ? where i have to end up ? "
Really , who knows the actual cause to all this ! the exact one !?
I know its the silly me in me who's thinking all this but still , we live in a democracy and are free to think anything in any respect ! Its really something between God and and every human being on this earth !
brrr...really these pondering moments just build up confusion and castles of question but at the same time make me familiar of the fact which .. ummm .. i'm not even sure about their existence ! But from insight i really wanna know the cause . I wish i could !
I know i can never take that Lord's place ..means i can't even dream of it. But i can surely do great work , like he did !
We all know , the one's we consider God were also humans like us but with some super natural powers !  They worked for the welfare and justice of random people who really needed .
They(God and Goddesses ) were provided with some other superpower . Now , has anyone ever thought whose that providing the superpowers,,????
We simply  praise but i bet , no one have ever thought of knowing the truth ? whose actually running this whole world !
Hope some or the other day i'll get my answers . Till then i expect my readers to think and ponder about the fact i presented . This is not specifically for a particular religion , its as a whole and we exist as 1 !
Tanjul

love this song

this is my most favourite song from the block buster movie "agneepath" ! really my emotions are so much attached , sometimes i find myself in the song and tears flow through my eyes ! 

thanks to sonu nigam , the singer of this song to bring it out !

past 2 years

hi friends !
these days i'm a bit frequent.. what to do ! can't keep me away from this place which is full opportunities to know the world,,,share your emotions , spirits , and everything you wish to . isn't it ?
i stepped in this school "vsec" on 20 july 2010 ! really it was really a striving session for me for few months...many ups and downs i witnessed but a famous hindi saying "ant bhala toh sab bhala" , meaning end is well then all is well !
Really how these days passed so enthusiastically joyfully.. can't even express.. still i'm here to express only...lol of me..i don't even watch out what i say !

heya once again....
the day i stepped or say the day which was assigned my first working day at vsec , ah i was looking a "champu" hairs so sticky , so so streched ! hahaha in simple words i should say , i was looking a big big big LOL ! 

my best friend home...

ah .. she suddenly arrived so early ! i was with my dad and sis in my room
As i heard her talking to my mom and grandmaa... i ran downstairs and hugged her tight ! really it seemed as if we were meeting after many years....
basically she came here to learn a chapter relation and functions in maths ! really i love teaching her and noone else ! :D

now she's accompanying my sis in the kitchen as my sis preparing a dish in kitchen "pavbhaji"...wah my sis cooking that too a surprize !
now got to go...cya soon !
tanjul

chemistry exam...

ah really enjoying my last days of student life... tomorrow is my chemistry exam and i'm trying to deal sucessfully with the organic chemistry ...really its not my type..my bestfriend mysh she deals with organic successfully i think and me with physical chemistry ! talking to her on phone..she's using her dad's cell haha ! and i'm here sharing my special moments with all my readers.
i don't know whether people like reading me or not but really i love sharing my moments with them
listening to one of the blockbuster movies of bollywood "agneepath" track "ab hai samne ise chu lu jara "
awesome track !
i know i should be tensed and frightened humming all the mantras but don't know why m a bit confident i know i'll do it ! i pray i'm not proved wrong !
i wish and pray for all my friends and batchmates ! ah please please god ji , be with us...

HAPPY HOLI FRIENDS :)

HATE THIS TIME PERIOD OF MY LIFE !

Hi friends...
I'm here after an interval of a long time...
my board exams are going on . I'm over with English n physics subjects but now still left with chemistry , maths and computers ! these days aren't so well but still i get up every morning with a hope that everything will get fine sooner . ah ! it really is making me difficult to stay alive but then the thought of my loved ones strike out my mind . I can't afford losing them !The thing i hate the most is "dilemmas" and presently my life is like surrounded with dilemmas . No sign of a real smile on my face.But again i would say that according to what my mom says "God is surely making me strong , preparing me for the toughest times so that i don't have to strive n i win with success over those times . The thing i cannot afford is my mom's sad and dull face . I really wish i could make her life more smooth n happy ! Really for this i'm no doubt angry with lord . Hope in this season's first festival which is a fest of colors , my mom's life becomes more colorful , happy and joyful... and hope your prayers would always support me !

HAPPY HOLI FRIENDS :):):)