Long time back !!!

Well , i am back.. I just took a short break but really missed it so much. I don't know why but there is a spell binding connection between me and my writing . Its a small little whole world where everything and everyone is good. No expectations. Else in real life all expect some or the other little-big thing from us.

Really in past 15 days , i experienced such things which i never thought i will do and it would cause so hard.. Things like pain of missing someone, knowing the truth that you cannot live without some people,getting connected to nature , falling in love with its beauty. How the feeling of nature's innocence strikes one mind, how to know people around you whether new or old, etc. etc. The list seems to have no end !!!

The worst part was to miss my dearones. Really i missed my sister mishika. Means, i never thought i would miss her so much. She kept messaging to let me know that she is missing me hard and i[me] am not missing her atall. But me n my loneliness only knows the truth.People may call it a strongest or my weakest point that i am not capable of expressing my feelings so finely. I sometimes regret and sometimes feel proud of it.
Ah! such a dilemma. I missed my bestfriends pulkit and sarim. They too make an important page of my life,,,Really missing someone is really hard...Like i hate missing my dad . He lives in mumbai for his job. I wish he was with me here !

This one's specially for u 3-mishika,sarim n pulkit ;
"Every morning the thought for you striked my mind,
 i can never forget you guys.
Thousands of people came & went away,
all were marked in the page of my book.
But you guys have been steppled by god in the pages of my book !"

In the last few days, i experienced my brothers love & care for me , specially my little brother . Really wish he was with me here. Though i'm his elder most sister though i love him the way my mother does to me.
I also came across many truths , many thoughts, which in some or the other way taught me some or the other thing. Well i'm taking it too long . I will cut short.
TO GOD ;
Thanks for such a wonderful experience....<3

LUNAR ECLIPSE !

A total lunar eclipse will take place on June 15, 2011. It is the first of two total such eclipses in 2011, the second occurring on December 10.


This is a relatively rare lunar eclipse where the center point of Earth's shadow is on the disk. The last time a lunar eclipse was closer to the center of the earth's shadow was on July 16, 2000. The next central total lunar eclipse will be on July 27, 2018.

Visibility
It will be visible completely over Africa, and Central Asia, visible rising over South America, western Africa, and Europe, and setting over eastern Asia. In western Asia, Australia and the Philippines, the lunar eclipse will be visible just before sunrise.
 

Lunar year (354 days)
This eclipse is the center of five lunar eclipses in a short-lived series. The lunar year series repeats after 12 lunations or 354 days (Shifting back about 10 days in sequential years). Because of the date shift, the Earth's shadow will be about 11 degrees west in sequential events.

This one is for u .... for my someone special... sisso !!!

Every morn, sun may not strike my eyes,
But the thought of being with you
Gives a desire to my life.
Hope you knew,what you mean to me
You are an angel , making me fly high so free.
You inspire me with the strength of your words,
 I get myself ready to win the battle, with a shield and a sword.
You teach me to fly high like an eagle,
But then i feel , will i be able?
I feel to express all my hearts elation,
But i'm afraid, may be you feel the itchy irritation.
I wish i could give you 24hrs dedication,
But other important factors seem to be an interruption.
You taught me to laugh again, and live the way i was.
I feel i've made a lot of gain,than the least i made a loss.
Have no expectations from you,
May be my soul flies to the blue.
Though i'm alive or dead,
Will always make roundabouts around your head.
Let my heartbeat stop for you,
I will be happy atleast i could be of use.
I promise to walk with you ,
Letting the strongest storm blew.
Ah!its hard for you to believe
For me its such a relief !
I will always lie low to see you high,
I will never let you cry.
God knows how much i love you, sisso !
You showed path to my passion
And now i'm working for its invasion.
May the circumstances take us far,
But our hearts will always be with each other.
I love to make you smile,
Oh gosh! anyone knows?
It is a big crime.
I wish to laugh at what i cracked,
But tears have captured my eyes.
Still i have lot to say,
But have less time to stay.
Ur friendship is an unbreakable bond,
Noone can break , not even our james bond (our god).
Let all fights and grudges take place,
Let HIM know , our relation is full of grace....


luv u sisso

Love u too SISSO..!

THIS POEM IS COMPOSED BY MY LOVING SISTER , MISHIKA, FOR ME WHICH WILL ALWAYS REMAIN IN MY HEART TILL MY SOULS SUPPORTS...!!!!

All memories cherished in my heart
will be there till my life departs
but this last class 12th of our school
is passing really very soon,,<3
Hope we would have met before
so that we would be more close
but still its good that actually we met late
coz its the shortage of something that makes us straight
Its not the end of our friendship "friend"
its just what we call the rising sun
don't know about u and your heart
"but u'll always be there in my heart till my soul departs"

MY SOUL HAS GROWN

I don't know how I will be doing it but yeah ! A new wish, a new dezire arouse in my little stupid mind yesterday night while i was reading " The Valkyries " by PAULO COELHO.

I am really inspired by his writings. I am reading the second book written by him. There is an invisible truth of life. I am not at that age of my life where i can say that i am done with this magic but i can say , that being 17 , my soul has grown !

I am afraid of people around me and i have to come over this fear of mine. Somewhere i read "one should fear his own fear". Though it is my present scenario but still i am fed up of it. I am not afraid of spirits, ghosts, devilish things around me but i am afraid of a common man . And day by day this fear is getting more intense. I know this is all because i have no control over my second mind.

Ya ! first let me introduce what second mind is . Its just the second part of our mind which never takes a pause break , which never gets tired and keeps performing its task. But sometimes, its the only one which makes us do things which we never have done or ever wanted to do. It never stops like our heartbeat and keeps working "dhak -dhak dhak- dhak"!!!

For eg :-if we start humming a tune in the morning or when we are working or so, then lately we observe that we have been humming the same tune the whole day long. Actually when we are working then we pay no notice to it...but our second mind..its catches it and then it takes it as a routine for the specific day.

If one gains control over his/her second mind , then he will win over him/herself. Though it sounds to be a very easy task , but it isn't so. One has to sacrifice alot.

We need to remember one thing,that in this process we shall always listen to our heart because decisions made by mind will always be having some bias thoughts but decisions by heart are always pure.

OK ! OK! I know , this time i was totally distracted and out of my point i was here to discuss.

I was telling about my new dezire. Well its an old one that i wish to witness a miracle in life . But that miracle is to have my angel walk with me, talk with me.

Hope i will catch n reach my destiny...!!!

Todays rain....

Well , suddenly clouds appeared...in this scorching heat a new hope arose.
After some little storms it rained...i have some clicks...the way white and black clouds were moving..

WHY I FEEL SO..:( ?

I don't know why , but somethings' really going wrong within me. Really , sometimes i feel that i am on a cross road.
Ah! you might be thinking that always i talk about crossroads . actually conditions are such that i cannot stop myself :(.
Why its so?
Means we always wish to have a thing which is really difficult to get. In that process we start undergoing a different stress. We start feeling that we aer handicapped because though getting near to what we wish to have we could not actually get . The situation is like a deer in a desert in search of water.
This is the normal human tendency. This feeling is just uncontrollable.Then from this another feeling takes birth which we call jealosy.Really , i hate such feelings arousing in my mind. But then i make myself understand that its just a simple human nature. What we need is to have self determination and  peace in mind and move on without getting affected whats going on around.

Ah! again i am not talking of what i was here , i dragged myself away.I am really afraid . I don't understand what i want . At this stage,when i have my last year of school near , which will decide my future,. How can i let anything else affect me.
What i want  is to just move on with my family, my best friends mishika and pulkit and other friends , my desires, my future ,my aim , and which need to be bothered of.In short my present.  But its not happening.
I am trying to move on but still some or the negative force is not letting me to move on .I am stuck at the same place and bothering about some people and some of their cheap thoughts for me , knowing that there are people out , who understand me . At every second i feel i need to prove myself. I hate this feeling of mine. Really oh gosh..!!!!

I just want this moment to stop but at the same time i wish it moves on...This dilemma is killing me from inside.
I know, people reading this may call me a freak .But i would like to ask you , haven't you ever felt the same at some stage of life ???
May be your conditions might have been different than mine, but still.

I am still left unanswered . Iam not able to find a person who would answer all my questions. I am still in search of that angel of mine.
Though i already have 2 angels of mine but still i want to meet that godfather of those angels...
I am feeling really wierd...i want this feeling to leave me at once.

I know , all who have been reading this are left confused with lots of questions in their minds.But yeah,they may feel the pain and anguish , this dilemma, the grudge , etc etc i am being through.....

Jealuosy surrounds

Sometimes ,like its a human tendency, if someone else starts coming more closer to the one you love,may be your bestfriend , family or love of life, then we feel jealous. This is all because we don't wanna lose those people in our life. We don't want any misunderstanding to become our seperating factor..
But we never think any positive side of it..we always start thinking about all negative we can think. isn't it?

Due to this feeling of jealousness...many people take wrong decisions in life..and later they realize when they find themselves on crossroads...really its very hard..i dont know what else to write..may be i get later on..

ANXIETIES...

As my days of ending 12th are coming closer day by day , a feeling of losing something very special keeps striking my mind. This precious jewel are my loving friends , the fun n masti we have together.

The time we spend together, these days are if once gone, then they won't ever return. I wish the time stops here..But this is something unusual . The time never stops for anyone , we have to move on with the memories we have collected together.

I will really miss my friends, specially ajit, with him i fight the most ,sumit ,anurag,alpas,tarun,kanchan,moid,pritesh,sneha,anoop,abhishek,sajid and last but not the least my besties,bestest friend, my sis mishika...This is the place(school) where we started this story.

I wil miss our famous five which has been recently made,
f1-mishika
f2-tanjul(me)

f3-ajit

f4-anurag

f5-sumit...

we are like looney toons...fighting , doing fun , sharing happiness and sorrows with each other..etc etc,,

we are the future rockers....hope god bless all of us...

will keep writing some more pages, which will be of lifetime remebrence for me...
till then i take your leave...

Missing you..!!!

Really it hardly happens...when we get closer to some people so deeply that a second without them seems to be a year...same way my bestfriend n my sisso "ms".....really missing u this...

                                                           hope you're doing the same...
                                                              miss you

mistakes....!!!

Man makes hundreds of small and big mistakes.

we keep commiting them and people keep witnessing ! many do realize the point but some just pass it away and repeat the same again.

But hardly anyone realizes this fact that one mistake can change their life.One single mistake makes loved ones apart, brings misunderstandings between happy couple...just one single mistake.

But it is not in our hands too to stop everything...its HE who is just monitoring us...who knows whats the actual truth behind it...

Today i am here but still i'm not aware whatever i'm writing of....its just coming from within...i wasn't prepared for it..i just came to check and suddenly felt that i should write something...

Actually you may say that i have a point,its my childhood friend debarun.

I really trusted him alot and we spent lots many happy moments together..i considered him to be the best...all sorrows and happy moments of mine i used to share with him. Whenever i had any problem i talked to him .

But today, the conditions are so worst that we treat each other as strangers.We don't even look at each other.This all happened because of one silly mistake. I wish it never happened. I really miss those days , when me, my sis and deb used to have lots of fun. But yeah we both have come so far, that we cannot go back n start from there where we ended. No question of going back.That faith and trust is no more left.We literally hate each other. I just wanna ask God , why???

I wish it never happens with any one...:(

i came across !!!

some great lines i came across  while i was in my school library....
Really strength giving....hope all readers like it....

Do what you love,
Drop your negative friends , without hesitation.
Do your research, don't put up with crap.
Help others out ,
Compare yourself against yourself,
Acknowledge your strengths.
There is no need for you to put yourself down......
And the life goes on and on and on......


just remember :

"woods are lovely , dark and deep,
but i have promises to keep.
i have my future to reep,
miles to go before i sleep."

:"( a strange story :"(

Some people, like me , trust some people so much that when they are ditched , they are not ready to face the pain.In my case , its not sometimes,  but its most of the time the same case...!!1

I cannot tell you directly what happened so again i'm back with a story of mine...which'll make you understand....

There were 2 friends , oliver and cassy.

They lived in california, they were childhood friends...
We don't even come to know when we become so close to some people in a short span of time.

Similarly oliver and cassy were bestest pals. They couldn't live a single day without each other.Though  in college they met still they called each other after getting back home n talked about all stupid things they were experiencing as they experience many things which we commonly face in our teenage...its quite normal..and genuine...all was going well, they were living happily , doing masti, hanging out , playing football and studies ... everything was on track.
 Suddenly ,one day Cassy went to oliver with the worst news ever he heard from her...Cassy was leaving california. They both were going to be seperated. This came as a shock for both of them. They never expected that something like that would ever happen.Cassey's dads' job called them to Mexico. Well in this 21st century , its very easy to get anywhere but still its not so easy.

And they left. Earlier Oliver was like broken badly but atleast he had the support of other friends but Cassy , she was going to a totally new place where she was not knowing anyone. She got admission in a new school. where she faced many problems. She got friends to talk with but no one was there who could take the place of Oliver. Not actually his place but somewhat like him. On the other hand, in California , Oliver was missing Cassy but he kept enjoying too with other friends,....his routine didn't change..Now the circumstances changed. They hardly texted and talked on phone. All was changed... She started getting depressed. She kept missing Oliver more and more, the fun they had together , the night outs, movies, football, everything they did together. And Oliver stopped missing her.. Whenever Cassy tried to make any contact, any or the other problem occured. Oliver got other friends to share his secrets and all and cassy's space in his life was lost. When she (cassy) realized this fact she was left heartbroken because she always kept Oliver at the top in her list but Oliver changed with time...she asked again n again to herself that why she is struck with the same past? why she is not able to move on?

She also started living alone . After some months were passed by, she came across a girl in her batch lolita !

Lolita was a cool and lovely girl .  She hardly trusted or interacted to anybody. Slowly and gradually Cassy and Lolita satrted spending time together and got more closer. Lolita supported cassy alot after knowing the circumstances she had been through. And tried to bring her out of it. Then cassy also did the same as Oliver did. Actually Oliver's place was not left anymore it was all Lolita's now.

But still Cassy had a  fear of losing her again..

But this time it was something different. They had a different bond which was hard to break. They had misunderstandings but didn't let those misunderstandings harm their friendship...

and this friendship is forever...god bless them...

still this story seems to be incomplete i don't know why...may be it has no end or may be lolita and cassy will together give it an happy ending ,,,so we need to move on with no expectations !!!

moral : many a times it happenes that either we are living forever with our childhood friends but in most cases this childhood friendship isn't successful. Always misunderstandings are created, its upto us how we face them...I am not against it but it in my case this is what happened...i wish those who leave people like cassy back alone realize how it feels when they leave. understand the pain...

hope this friendship lives long.....

My 17th Birthday !!!

My birthday falls on 3rd of 5th month every year...last year a bit different excitement was there as i was turning sweet 16 but this year i wasn;t anxious at all. I missed my bestfriend on this day...I really miss my old days in my previous school with her...but yeah on this birthday i really got friend who i know won't leave me ever...its the one and only mishika,,,,i really love her.She cares for me alot and i for her...we really make the best bff...this yr it was tuesday. We had schools as usual...as i stepped into my class all friends wished me. They got me beautiful presents and cards...i was even gifted with loads of chocolates,,,!!! how fast the day passed , even i didnt recognize and i returned home. From then onwards the day felt so worst that i wished my birthday never came....it was feeling even worst then an ordinary day. I went for my evening classes and returned...no enjoyment nothing. Hope i don't have to see the same scene every year.

My bestfriend Mishika was the first one to wish me at 12:00 AM...thanks to god for such an awesome gift of mine....thanks alot..

this for u mysh-"love you sisso !!!"

5 May 2011

Well the day started fine....we normally went for our school assembly and the assembly was on the verge to start . Suddenly my class teacher called out 2 names-Tanjul sarkar and Saumya singh.I thought i'm being called for any punishment kind of . It was too embarassing....We continued standing there. Then one of the teachers said that there's an award function so i thought that i am being called for helping them in distributing medals and certificates but then the give away ceremony also started and i wasn't being called..Now the tension grew more intense then suddenly i heard my name-"from class 12th , tanjul sarkar backed first position in english olympiad'!
i was toh totally shocked. Means it was just unexpected.I went and my eyes felt wetty.I was really very happy.all were congratulating me...then the day further went awesome with lots and lots of laughter with friends...It was really unexpected but yeah i am proud of myself.
my class rank was first,state rank 116 and international level rank was 844.
Really....i wish for more unexpected victories in future....!!!!!!

Treasure Of My WORLD !!!

I'm back again with a poem this time which is composed by my best friend Mishika...
I really feel proud to make it a part of my life and my blog....!!


The one's who gave their support
To make you stand on the board.
They made you to walk the first step of life,
even then, they try to make your future bright.

They help you to finish the first step of your life,
they teach you the first ABC of life
so that you become very fluent and
become morale of your choice.

But when we reach the second phase of life
we don't get to be a fire fly.
If they tell us to stop quietly
then we start with them unquietly.

But , slowly when we realize that,
they are the one's who make us bright
and we started to fight with such a lord's might.

Their , loan cant be renewd in any phase of time.
as they had stabilize us to make us squire.
Now,when we become so as called rankers of society.

They should be kept happy and
be supported that is our duty.
They are such precious jewels of treasure
the MIGHTY LORD called them as his real mirror.

They are the owners of our soul,
the world call them as their PARENTS  but
i call parents as my own "WoRlD"....

Call by the soul !!!

It's a long time i have been researching on this but still i haven't reached anywhere but yeah , i can rely that whatever i think is true at some points.Well it wasn't my thought everytime but i was compelled to believe on whatever i heard or saw...and the one who compelled me was my soul. I know you might be thinking that what kind of a freak i am and you should think the same way.
In today's 21st century , anyone hardly talk about ghosts , demons , spirits and all kind of "son of bitches" and its genuine too but i being one of you all dared to do this.
This is going to be very long. Thanks to various generals , discovery channel , some tv shows like supernaturals because i was being able to get aware and gather facts about them. Though they belong to various mytholigies and are considered to be mythical creatures but they are around us . They are spirits.

Well a few months back when i went for my maths class to my teacher's house , he was attending his guest.So i went up to the drawing room where they both assembled .I started with my work.I didn't indulge myself in whtever they were saying but suddenly somethings his guest said which caught me.He said that whenever a person is on the verge of his death , he/she starts having intuitions and many more things happens and from then onwards i started believing it.Today , my friends, mishika, she proved this to be right as the same thing happened with her grandfather ... There is something in the dark,there is something which we don't know that they know.

It doesn't means that always the spirits are vengeful .It's just they want peace and when they don't get it then they wander about years and years and then we get vengeful spirits who just want to tear off your flesh if you tried to come in their way and just then your end of line...well didn't i take you far ahead....we need to go back where we started,,,i don't want to say that i know each and every minute thing about it but yeah i'm aware of it.
Various demons are just mythic.It means that they are just mythical creatures and people's belief put in danger.


Most of the people read horror novels and books because they like to be frightened.They know that while reading when it becomes too scary we can always close the book but let me ask-
what happens when we cannot close the book....???????????
That's what we call horror.
this is all based on anthology.

Well i also understood that if you will get on the path which leads to them then you are really going to get them and i almost experienced . People will think me mad but its the harsh truth.

I know , only 45% people are going to believe me.
This was all i could collect till now...i'm still on my research....hope to finish it soon....

19 april 2011

The day started fine, i reached school, classes started.

We enjoy terribly and these days i hardly cry...:):):) as our chemistry period started i don't know why i started feeling the way as i felt in class 11th. Means very clumpsy.All 3 of my friends were able to solve the numericals given by our teacher but me.ah !! how hard it felt.

I know I am not very intelligent but still i have other talents which hardly anyone sees except some of my bestfreinds. Whenever such thing happens i don't know why but i start thinking of some drowsy things like how i'm being underestimated by me and my teachers.

I don't want to be underestimated. Actually this fact i didn't recognize until mishika, my bestfriend and my classmate encouraged me. I really thank her for supporting me at every step.She made me understand that I need to fight with it. Its true thats it is not my intrest .

And now I have understood what i have to do. Though the day felt long but yeah i was the one who witnessed a magnificent sunset which washed away all my sorrrows....
I really wish we would have become friends earlier when i joined VSEC but still I'm thankful that atleast we met and made such an awesome freindship.
love you sis !!!!

Love is what i feel !!!

i don't know from where or what to start with and neither i know that why i have chosen this title . let me tell you neither i am a good writer nor a grabbing orator. but still , there are many things i have come up with . as i told i am not very good at it but i just felt that i should make a trial , " akhir koshish karne walo ki haar kabhi nhi hoti !!! " actually frankly it's not me , its someone else who is very special to me and my bestest friend ,its he who asked me to do it , its he who encouraged me , gave the support required. he kept on saying that i should give chance to my writing but asusual i was always kind of a lazy thing means i was like a TAKE A CHILL PILL GIRL . but really , for me it proved right that time brings the biggest and the smallest changes in life. so not distracting from my motive i should actually come to the point . as a result of his support i am here with a pen in hand and a mind full of 1000's of titbits,wierd,pleasant,unusual,unbelievable and what not thoughts , which are making roundabouts or say trying to gather together for a meeting. huh ! that was an unsuccessful attempt to bring humour before i start .
so here i go.....
Well i am here with my second story after the new girl in school .
This is a story of a girl named shaina who was very free , not exactly in her life but in her thoughts and lived a life as if she lived in a dreamland. For her everything had its own innocence. She was girl full of anxities of living life with loads and loads of happiness !!!
This didn't remain the same ......
the story goes -
Something happened without Shaina's self-control and  that changed the view of her life.She was in love. At that time everything became more heavenly for her.But this is also true that happiness doesn't stays for long.She discovered soon that she was being cheated.
 At first, she found herself at a crossroad. Ah ! there were , as usual four paths to move on but DIL TOH BACHHA HAI JI  , when it broke it broke so hard that nothing was either visible or audible . Because of such an horrified past of her, she was too afraid that her fear didn't let her to move either of her steps in any one of those paths. She was so frightened that her mind had just made a set-up that she was never going to come out of that suffering and start moving ahead. It felt as if though all four directions were waiting for her to come, but she was not at all ready to move on them. But yaa , one thing she was totally sure of that atleast she got her own meaning , her own view point , her own definition for this four letter screwed up word LOVE . according to me now love was-
          
                " love is just a game of two hearts , which can say GAME OVER the very next moment . "

Don't you think it has the damn harsh truth in it ? Its right know !!! means falling in love is so easy, sharing feelings and ya it is the only thing which compells you to start watching dreams but in reality you never know whether they will even fulfill or not. As i said falling in love is not neither in our hands nor a very difficult task. wo kehte hain na - "pyaar toh bas ho jata hai" , but have you ever thought that what are you going to get through when this love has left you. No na? huh ! no one has actually . Even same was with Shaina . she hasn't ever thought of it. But then she was realizing the second important phase of love which was  HATRED.

After Shaina was a victim of it, she started believing that neither love was made for her nor she was made for love . So in short , they both weren't made for each other. She realized that ya it was a day when she felt it was the most happiesst one in the whole world becoause her love was with her but in reality she was totally unaware of the very next phase of this so called love life she has to go through . She was not knowing that few days of happiness and a feeling of being together with her love will directly throw her into a hell where she was lost and all alone. Though everyone was around Shaina, but still the one whom she wanted to be around wasn't with her. Actually her love never cared about her and her innocent feelings. It was so shameful that a girl like her was in such a condittion but as i told you , that time transforms a person. She had lost her original identity of what she was. For her, it felt as if everything was over, she was left with nothing except lonliness and emptiness. She lost hope of getting back her worderful life she had. seriously , she was at ehr worst part of life .

She was and is still very small for all these and she even knows that its just a very delicate period of her life or any other girl like her.

This teenage is the only phase which makes us grow up because it is the period when we come across many things and learn step by step. But Shaina had as if decided not to be happy. She stopped  believing in the beauty of this stupid stuff called love. For her it seemded as if it was a vast ocean in which if you are lost once , then you can never trace your way back .

Either it will break you totally or it will make you more stronger. Since there is no way out of it and no remedy for it, so it is crystal clear that there isn't any end of this blah blah so called ocean, huh !!!

When she was going through this tough period , she also came across many truths and falses' too. The most important one which she came across , that  practically proved to be super duper correct was this that boys always move with a photocopy of their hearts with them , so that they have a back-up facilty .Means if one broke their heart then without putting a band-aid the very next moment they can proceed and present it for someone else .But has anyone thought of whats the case with girls??? huh ! They only have one heart which they though lately but give it very soon to that person whom they are in love with while they don't even know whether their heart is going to be handled with care or not. And as in most cases like Shaina's, if they are left heart brokern tab toh for them the whole world seems to be a CRAP WITH MANY CRACKS !!! But its not even their mistake, its god who has made them like that with such delicate feelings. You know what i feel that he should have given us powers so that when girls like  Shainsa were if left heart broken then atleast like a VENGEFUL spirit they could break those heartbreakers. Though it sounds funny but really i wanna question him for this !

Well , as always i am distracted from my track !!!

Then slowly slowly she was coping up with those tough conditions. She also stopped staining her pillow covers with her so damn precious tears :). She got other reasons for her being alive.Her friends,  family , career and you know this was all because of one person, her bestfriend, her angel,Shlok. He taught her that LOVE IS JUST A PART OF LIFE BUT IT IS NOT  LIFE.

 At first go she was a bit against of it but again the very next moment it proved to be right. Ofcousre without love we are not going to die na ! And  after this thought was introduced in her mind, she started being happy, doing masti tappa with friends and famil. But still something was there which was not letting her to keep herself at peace.

She had started loving everything around her. She was actually not knowing what was happening with her , but yeah , one thing she was sure of and even shocked of too that she again started having that essence of love in her mind and surrounding. She was afraid of whats going to happen the next moment. She was totally a stranger to it , O gosh ! She didn't know why but she started loving to spend time with her bestfriend .Whenever she was with him she used to feel so special, delicate , unique,different ..Ah ! and what not. everything aruond her, the nature , her every single thought was  compelling her to get lost in that idiotic ocean again which she had decided not to look at. Means she was calling it an idiot but still the thought of being in it was giving her kind of goosebumps .It shaked her badly , Damnit ! But at the same time this love whichshei was falling in was unpredictable. She didn't want her heart to be broken again . For her it was onesided becoause she didn't even know what Shlok felt for her . Everything was like , disturbed kind of . Wo kehte hain na man mein buri wali UTHAL UTHAL si mach gayi thi. Shaina again started having dreams. she started believing the fact that if god is putting a SHUT DOWN to one door then another door is waiting for us to step inside its holy threshold. At one part it was a WOW moment but at the second it was a HOW moment! Means how can she fall in love with him. she knew this gonna hurt her again.

But , but , but , the story doesn't ends here. There was a sharp twist in it as i told everything was unpredictable. She decided to speak up to him and after fighting with all ifs and buts and

all occurng fears she finally spoke up to him. Then a complete silence surrounded them and she was just sensing his breath . She knew what was going to be his answer but something strange

happened which she haven't even expected. She just only heard 3 words - I LOVE YOU ! She was shocked , happy,etc. means , ah! the moment can't be explained .She was flying high. Wo

kehte hai na PAO TALE ZAMIN KHISAK JANA !! time started running like a rabbit. Its always with her when she wanted the time to move slowly it ran so fast like a rocket launcher was

flying to launch a satellite and when she wanted it to pass fast as it could, it moves worst than a tortoise. huh !! a total dismatch with what she wanted. Well , thats something different .

She was again changing but something else was this time , her love was not a result of infactuation as earlier. It was true and had a great depth . She was just in love with him. And this

feeling was tremendous. ah ! i don't wanna speak in a way as if i am presenting a movie dialogue but really whatever she was feeling , for me i just heard them happening in legends.

Everything around her now had a strange beautiful meaning for her. Oh wow ! She loved this feeling and she didn't want to lose it again. Actually she wasn't able to stand on floor. Wo toh

KALPANAO KI UDAAN BHARNE LAGI THI !!!

love is not what you see

not what you think

not what you hear

not what you achieve

its all that you feel in yourself.

you are in love

when you touch your heart and feel the touch of that person

when you close your eyes and have a picture of that person

when you take a deep breath and feel the closeness of that person

you are in love not when you think you are in love

you are in love not when you want to be in love

you are in love not beacause of some gud looks of a person

infact you are in love

when you keep telling yourself you want to be away from it

love is when you die for a glance of that person

love is when you are ready to do anything

just for a smile from that person

love is when you have tears for that person

love is when you start praying to god for the well being of that person

even if that persons' not you future....

For Shaina,her love is her inspiration , her admiration, her encouraging factor , her support , her strength, and everything. In short , its her life suppport system. But yeah its just a part of  life not life. So she am not going to ovelook other factors which have an equal importance .

Now i don't think i need to describe anymore, shabdo ne hi Shaina ke dil ka haal bata dia hoga. But  if you still need an answer then even i don't know what i am going to say..For now i am just left with moistened eyes .

Shaina word's-For me , my present says that i just need to walk ahead with what i have .I need not to worry about things i may lose because if anything is mine then surely i will get it but if its not my destiny then no one can compell it to be mine.I will happily let it go. But i just wish that on this long journey of mine ,my love walks with me hand in hand . There is no end for this love thing. I just wanna thank him,thank Shlok for making my life an inspiration for me , thanks .

Finally , i , putting my pen down ask your leave !!

by-

tanjul sarkar

How much loyal you are ???

You all might be making thousands of guesses after reading the title.
Well today morning while i was on my way to school , i had a long discussion with a boy named Piyush in my van..He is a class 9th student . We were having discussion about how much of our youth is loyal towards him/her and their parents.
Since last many days, am watching small children running over the streets playing gulli-danda,watching students going to school , etc.etc, but no one ever thought that what feeling they might be having when they see children going to school. I am not sure whether i am right or wrong but i feel that i have seen something in their eyes, a dear wish that they can also go to school,live in that atmosphere,know what is school and all that. Their are lakhs of similar children who cannot go to schools and live with a hope of a good life.

Now coming over to my point, first i want to ask a question to all the students includeing me-Are we loyal towards us and our parents ?
Huh !!! many might be reading this and just saying what a crap it is? But let me tell them that this is a question which they will ask and even answer themselves after 20-25 years.
I am at no wrong in saying this tha 80%(say) students are just wasting time and their parents money in simply partying out and having all funs and luxuries of life which they may have later.They are forgetting what their parents are doing for them. They are working so hard and earning just because they want their children to get everything whatever they couldn't . They are fulfilling all our needs without questioning and what they are demanding from us is just a little bit loyalty and honesty towards our studies and our career. before proceeding , one question-'are they going to be benefitted if we work for a bright future?'
What we see today is students move out of their houses in their well dressed uniform and bunking schools and having fun.Not only students of school,I am even including them who are living in different cities for higher education . No one has ever thought except the few. MOstly think-"areh jab tak maa baap de rhe hain lete raho baad ki baad mein dekhi jaegi". With this sensibility most of genx is stepping ahead.
Don't you think that we should not misuse our parent's resources. Means its better we ask our parents to open a vegetable shop instead of investing their precious money forr our bright future.Most of the seats in colleges and  universities is booked for sc's sbc's which are mostly occupied by those students who are not worth for it. And many worthy student have to stay behind...


I know i am not clear with what actually i wanna say, but i just wish that atleast all the students and childrens get to know about their responsibilities and act according to it,doesn't take advantage of fake resoursec which are just spoiling their future,making them handicapped and dependent.
Just for those lakhs of children who are lacking behind...!!!!!

IN and OUT's

A disfigured tempo while we were on our way to a place named ruma.

Juhu chaupati in mumbai during sunset

Haji ali clicked from far away during heavy rain

me and my friends partying on friendship day

A tree which fascinated me on the gwalior-kanpur highway

ittawa city highway

christmas in mariampur sen sec school

What's exciting me these days !!!

These days i don't know why but i have started feeling that world is nearing to end , may be because various mishaps , for example we can consider the Japan trauma. But at the same time i feel that its just impossible for our earth get destroyed in one go !!! yeah , their are chances that we suffer many disasters , lose many of our islands like Andaman and nicobar islands , etc. but whole earth ???????

From the knowledge i have collected yet from my friends , news ,teachers , etc. it is true that this yuga of ours will end and the processees have also started but still our next generation will come.And about big bang theory we all know and our earth is one of the strongest planets. It will take time to destroy.

Actually , the main source of this mental trauma is MAN...he is the only one because of whom we are at this stage. he is the only one who kept commiting all these mistakes knowing what will be the consequences.I am not onlyblaming a single man but we all are responsible. But i am making no mistake in blaming those men who are still continuing to do the same.Still on roads i see all that rubbish, i see people throwing the garbage here and there, cutting tress for making money, etc. etc.

I just want to spread this message that its high time now. WE have to do something in unity if we wish to live longer. This can be done only if we all get together. I want everyone to accept the nature as it is. It is already giving us many things then why to try to get more which is out of its considering power.

like we humans can't do any work after an extreme limit same way is the case with nature.

Please don't take advantage else we are gonna hit badly . Respect it and its resources. Stop overusing it .

Huh!!! these are some facts and figures that i have collected in my pocket, in actual no one knows whats gonna happen. I just pray to god that we live atleast a span of life in which we can fulfil our dreams.

Join hands and pray to God for our better Earth, better life and for their souls rest in peace who lost their lives in different disasters that took place till now !!!

SUCKER PUNCH

On today's post, I've decided to review the latest movie that I saw in theatres last Friday. It's the action-meets-fantasy film: Sucker Punch

What it is about :

Sucker Punch is a 2011 action-fantasy thriller film about the fantasies of a young woman who is committed to a mental institution.

Story so far :

A 20-year old girl nicknamed "babydoll"  is institutionalized by her stepfather at the Lennox House for the Mentally Insane after she is blamed for the death of her younger sister. Blue Jones , who is the asylum's orderly, is bribedby Babydoll's stepfather into faking the signature of the asylum's psychiatrist to have Babydoll lobotomized so she can neither inform the authorities of what really happened nor reclaim her recently deceased mother's fortune.

As she enters the institution, she notices details of its layout and security.


In the five days before the surgeon  arrives, Babydoll retreats to a fantasy world in which she is a newly-arrived virgin in a brothel owned by the mob. She befriends four other dancers—Amber , blondie, sweet pea and rocket.  Dr. Gorski appears here as the girls' dance instructor and tells Babydoll that her virginity will be sold to a client known as "The High Roller" who will be arriving in five days.

Madam Gorski forces Babydoll to perform an erotic dance. While she dances , she fantasizes an adventure in feudal japan , where she meets a wise man who tells her that she can escape if she collects five items: a map, fire, a knife, a key and a fifth, unrevealed item that would require "great sacrifice". He gives her a sword and a gun, instructing her to fight three demon samurai, which she defeats . Back in brothel, the dance is successful in she succees in impressing the mobster boss,blue.

Inspired by the Wise Man, Babydoll convinces her friends to prepare an escape. During subsequent dances, she imagines adventurous events that succeeds the efforts of her friends in obtaining the items required to escape . In the last episode, Rocket sacrifices herself to save her sister and dies when the bomb detonates. This is paralleled in the brothel fantasy, where the cook attempts to stab Sweet Pea as she steals a knife and Rocket is killed, who has jumped in to save her sister.

Soon Blue realizes that the girls are planning something and hears Blondie telling Babydoll's plan to Madam Gorski.  He locks Sweet Pea in a utility closet for her attempted theft for a knife and later takes the 3 girls , amber,blondie and babydoll backstage. Then he shoots amber and blondie and gives an example to babydoll for what can happen to her .He tries to rape Babydoll, but she stabs him with the knife .Then she frees sweet pea using Blue's master key. She and Sweet Pea start a fire with the stolen lighter so that, as a result of the fire alarm, the institution's doors unlock. They sneak out but their final exit is blocked by hoodlums.

Babydoll decides that the fifth item is herself and that her sacrifice is needed to complete Sweet Pea's story. She distracts the guards, allowing Sweet Pea to escape. The scene then cuts back to the asylum in which the surgeon has just performed the ice pick lobotomy. He is perturbed by her final expression and starts to question Dr. Gorski. They realize that Blue has forged the signature and he is apprehended as he is assaulting Babydoll in her cell while she remains catatonic.

Sweet Pea has escaped to a bus station but is stopped by suspicious police as she boards a bus. The bus driver—revealed to be the Wise Man who had helped the girls in their adventures—misleads the police and allows Sweet Pea to board without a ticket. Before pulling away, he tells her that she still "has a long way to go".

My reaction after i watched the movie :

Frankly speaking, as the movie started i was damn excited about it because it was my choice. Me , my lil sis and my uncle went to watch it in theatre. Well , after half-an-hour , my uncle and lil sister started blaming me for such a bad choice. actually it wasn't their fault. Since it was a fantsasy thriller , so it was a bit difficult to understand. means even with me was happening so i couldn't answer them but still i was liking it

Actually Sucker Punch is an extremely difficult film to, categorize, summarize or analize ,especially by a layperson such as myself .

But still ,even i was failed to analize but the main message which I recieved and which badly inspired me was-

    " In whichever conditions we are,we need to fight to win the battle . We should never depend on our fate because it is something which we make ourselves. , its not readymade ."

In hindi there's a proverb-" लड़ो या मरो ".

So keep fighting , the success is all yours !!!

-TANJUL